Naked, under the hot Jamaican sun, I caught the gaze of a good-looking guy sitting naked in the hot tub. I straddled a nearby chaise lounge and positioned myself for the best view.
Monogamy has been the default relationship model forever — the go-to gold standard, a so-called superior path to coupled bliss. But that may be changing.
There’s been an uptick in interest in consensual non-monogamy (CNM) with Google searches for the subject on the rise and shows like “You Me Her,” “Unicornland,” and “Polyamory: Married & Dating” hitting the airwaves. There’s even a lite version of CNM, dubbed “monogamish,” a term coined by sex columnist Dan Savage.
If you're looking for a game-changer when it comes to sex, look no further than the feminine care aisle of your local drugstore. That's where you'll find lubricant.
“There's no shortage of studies, both self-reported and single-blind, that demonstrate that most people find sex with store-bought lube to be more pleasurable and satisfying,” says Dr. Jill McDevitt, CalExotics’ resident sexologist.
We can all agree that orgasms are great. Still, I need to put out a disclaimer: We’ve all been sold this bill of goods that good sex – solo or partnered – means having a so-good-your-neighbors-hate-you orgasm.
Sex – whatever it looks like for you – can be a mind-blowingly awesome release of energy. But it doesn’t always have to involve an orgasm to be good. And if you can’t have or don’t want orgasms, that’s OK too. You do whatever feels good to you.
That said, orgasms are a fascinating physi...
Takeaway: Being sex-savvy won't protect you from sexual assault, but it might intensify the shame and sense that you should have known better.
Sex is a beautiful thing. As a queer vulva-haver, I’m going to sing the praises of vulva-on-vulva sex all the damn day long. Sadly, most people think of sex strictly as penetrative intercourse. And though I do love strap-on or penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex, it’s not the be-all-and-end-all in my sexual repertoire. PSA: It is possible to have satisfying sex that doesn’t involve a phallus.
I’m a queer, nonmonogamous, polyamorous, female-identifying person. Due to the nature of having multiple sexual relationships, I get tested for STIs (as opposed to an STD, an STI might never produce symptoms or develop into a disease) more often than most — a full panel every three months, unless there’s a new partner or a scare. Despite my diligence, I was recently diagnosed with HSV-2, a form of genital herpes. I’m far from
The reality is that around half of the human population will...
I recently tested positive for an incurable sexually transmitted disease (STD) – HSV-2 – during quarterly routine STI testing. In the grand scheme of medical maladies, it’s not the end of the world. I’ve never had symptoms or an outbreak, and it’s being managed via a daily suppressive antiviral (Acyclovir). I'm also planning to retest since false positives are so prevalent.
There’s a whole lot of misinformation out there about squirting. Research is scant (hello, medical research gender bias!), and there’s still a lot of debate on the difference between squirting and female ejaculation. It’s super easy for some women to open the floodgates, while others just ... can’t. Fortunately as understanding – and interest – in the female body increases, people are taking a closer look at this hotly contested topic.
Some people fantasize about being tied up, while others get worked up for a babysitter role play. Still others prefer something a little more, ahem, extreme. In a new survey from the Sex Expo, 26% of respondents said they’d like to try erotic electrostimulation. (For context, 500 people over the age of 18 were included in the survey.)
Having a gang bang, or group sex, is a fairly standard fantasy. The idea of one person having sex with multiple people at the same time or one after another (consensually, of course) is basically the answer to the "one is fun, but two (or more) is better" scenario. In heteronormative speak, it translates to a vagina-haver being penetrated by multiple penis-havers. In a reverse gang bang, a penis-haver has sex with various vagina-havers.
February 28 is Metamour Day! Founded by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF), the day is meant to foster positive relationships between you and your metamours (or, in non-monogamy speak, your partner’s partner, with whom you have no romantic connection) and acknowledge the unique role a meta is in your partners’ lives and tangentially (or directly) your own life.
When we think about stimulation, a lot of heteronormative people jump straight to penis-in-vagina intercourse. Sure, PIV sex can feel amazing, but there are lots of other non-penetrative, or “outercourse,” ways to experience sexual pleasure. Our bodies are a big ‘ole bundle of nerves waiting to be stimulated and send us over the edge. Think you know about external stimulation? Take our quiz to find out.
Takeaway: Couples’ privilege (or couples’ advantage) is a complicated subject. It’s also one of the most toxic issues I’ve run into as a solo polyamorous woman.
If you want to have hotter, more intense sex, add nipple play into your repertoire. Nipples are a wondrous erogenous zone with more than 800 nerve endings. A study published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2011, suggests that nipple stimulation travels to the brain in a similar way as sensations from the cervix, clitoris, and vagina.